Kids need to know

I haved raised my children in a suburb in Australia, which does not have the best of reputations.

Most of the children in this area, bring the police home to their parents door and as they grow, end up in jail.

I have four children and two of them are grown, 21 and 18, both boys. I am by no means a perfect parent but have managed to raise my boys, with not a mark to their names. Often I wonder how this was possible, in such a suburb. Watching many of the children around the area, I have noticed two main issues that are consistent amongst them all. They have no pride in themselves and no concience for the things they do.

These children I feel, do not know enough about their own personal family history. Once upon a time, children were made to sit and listen to their elders. Stories of past wars fought by their grandfathers, of struggles in life before the computer age. Our grandparents era, had pride in where they came from. They were taught to respect life, from a young age.

My grandfather flew the Sunderlands in the second world war. I could not wait for him to tell the next story. He was a great man, with respect for everyone around him. If he had only met a person once in his life, he would attend the memorial on their passing. Reading the paper every day, to make sure he did not miss paying his respects.

If a strong link to family past is established early in life, kids will have some inner pride to hold on too. They need this when times get hard. Every child today experiences a time, when they try to disrespect their elders and rebel. With a strong link to the past established early, it makes it easier for the children to pull themselves back. The concience within them takes over. Their love for their family, will bring them back. Deep, deep down, whether they admit it or not at the time, they want the family to be proud of them.

Make your children when they are young, sit down and listen to the elders. They will complain but thats ok. Tell them to sit down and listen, show respect for the conversation and the person. They will eventually hear something, that grabs their attention. Of course not every aspect of a family history, is something to be proud of. Thats what parents are for, to explain what was not right about the situation.

Bad history is good also. It helps them understand the consequences of what their ancestors did, which in turn, will help your child. They will learn when to pull themselves back and not cross that line! Children today also have to much freedom, at to young of an age. Let your child be mad at you for setting rules. That is what we are there for, not to be their friend. By allowing of children to freely roam the streets, we are giving the bad elements of life, free access to our children. The longer you can keep them by your side, the better. By 16 they will have a strong sense of individual pride, then you can loosen the reigns a bit.

Children have rights up to a point but some rights need to be earnt. My two boys are now grown. They tell me they love me, nearly every day. They are there for me when I need them, They have no police record. Actually, my eldest recieved an award for helping the police, with a bad situation. They attend funerals, which I feel is the ultimate in respect.They visit their grandparents and extended family all the time, without being asked.

My boys have been amazed over the years, uncovering the family history. I know in my heart, that is a big factor in the boys sensible attitude towards life. They do not hit women, they look after each other and the two younger siblings. Jobs have never been a problem, as we have never allowed them to go on government assistance. By the time they grew, a dozen different jobs had been worked and they were settled. The thought of going to the government, never entered their mind. Always told them to leave it for a time, when they truely need help for a while.

To finish - Be stronger willed then your children. Do not back down, it shows weakness and they will be off and running with it. trust your gut instincts and actually listen to them. If you feel at any time you dealt with a situation the wrong way - tell them! They need to know that people make mistakes and it is ok. It is understandable that parents get tired and caught up, in life but try to take a step back and focus, on what is really going on with your children. Teach them to show respect towards everyone and towards themselves, to stand up for what is right in this world, defend against racism and only stand up for an honorable cause. They will come through the other side of growing up, wonderful human beings. They will respect everything that this magnificent world of ours, has to offer.

(C)Copyright, Tassie Stuart 2011